Wish help

How I explain what I do to my son

In some ways my transition to a social impact coaching practice began through attempting to explain what I do to my son.

Of course, he’s not quite old enough that he needs an explanation at all, but he is aware that other people are doctors and construction workers and superheroes, so I though I’d put in a few words about what I do when I’m not chasing him around outside.

I told him my job is like Zee, a character from one of his favorite TV shows, True and the Rainbow Kingdom. If you were in the room with him and brought up Zee, he would take a deep breath and say, “Let’s sit and have a think.” That’s the most important part.

Joseph Campbell would say that Zee is a mentor or guide figure like Gandalf or Yoda. That’s what any coach wants to be, but since I can’t claim supernatural powers, Zee is more my speed. He’s an 11-year-old boy who lives in a tree. He appears in every episode when the hero, nine-year-old True, encounters a problem she can’t overcome on her own. True goes to the Wishing Tree, which delivers her three wishes — magical Pokemon-like creatures who assist her in resolving the plot in the next 10-15 minutes.

So what is Zee’s role? Whenever True and her companions arrive at the Wishing Tree, they are typically flustered or overwhelmed, hurriedly describing whatever aspect of the problem they most recently encountered. So Zee always begins by asking them to “sit and have a think” on a mushroom stool. True and Zee calmly discuss what the problem requires so that she is ready to make her request of the Wishing Tree. For the sake of my son’s emotional development, I appreciate that this moment of reflection is built in to the plot even when the Rainbow Kingdom faces an existential crisis like everyone being transformed into chickens.

True ascends into the canopy of the tree, sings a song, and receives her wishes. Then Zee has another job. Consulting his Wishopedia and scientific instruments, he explains to True and friends how special each wish is, the powers it contains, and the rules for using it. For example, you can only use the Reewee wish to reverse time if you speak to it backwards. In just about every episode, True also receives a wish that doesn’t seem relevant to the situation she is facing. Zee’s exegesis and the twists of the plot ultimately reveal what the Wishing Tree was thinking. You can see how much Zee genuinely loves each Wish and yearns for it to do its special thing.

Zee is a dedicated scientist, though he also has a life outside the Wishing Tree. He goes to True’s birthday party and even puts on a light show for her yeti friends (despite his stated preference for only performing in front of small groups). Nevertheless, the show makes clear that the Wishing Tree is a special place with its own arcane rules, not unlike Mister Rogers’s Neighborhood of Make-Believe or C. S. Lewis’s Narnia.

True — and by extension the viewer — go to this magical place when the resources available in normal life prove insufficient. The fact that Zee is portrayed as a mix between a sensei and scientist reminds us that these magical places require guides who mediate between the normal world and the magical one. They care about the rest of the world, but the mystical realm of ideas and dreams is their home.

That’s the role I believe I play in the life of my clients. People who work on social problems aren’t just stressed about quarterly earnings reports. They are well aware that even if they are not on the front lines, people may live or die based on the decisions they make. They are motivated by accomplishing their missions, and they are often the only ones treating them with appropriate urgency. Like True, they are known for their caring, resourcefulness, and heroism.

Yet almost all of them need something they don’t have — not just money or influence, but perspective and ideas. Or sometimes someone who is just comfortable with the fact that they don’t have all the answers yet. As True puts it in every episode, “We need Wish help!”

By looking at problems in a different way, help with one’s wishes can be provided. It requires some reflection and may not always come across the way that you expect. But seeing those wishes fulfill their purpose is so satisfying.